The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey Through A Course in Miracles
Explore the Sober Stoic's personal revelations and struggles while studying A Course in Miracles, confronting the ego, and embracing spiritual growth.
Experiencing the Dark Night of the Soul
1
First Encounter
About 30 days into studying the TCIM Workbook, the SS experienced a complete absence of God, leading them to put it down.
2
Second Attempt
Years later, the SS returned to TCIM, studying with a friend. The connection seemed to return, but about 30 days into the workbook, the isolation returned.
3
Following Curiosity
The SS started to follow the curiosity of the possibility instead of just the despair, considering that giving up attachment might mean giving up joy and excitement.
The Gap Between Illusions and Truth
"You have conceived a little gap between illusions and the truth to be the place where all your safety lies, and where your self is safely, hidden by what you have made"~ACIM
Safety Threatened
The SS felt panicked and threatened when this perceived safety was challenged.
Fear of Losing Individuality
The realization of not being special or an individual led to immediate disconnection.
Dread of No Special Relationships
The idea of having no special relationships was dreadful and led to a lack of connection.
The Special Relationship and the Ego
"The special relationship is a device for limiting your self to a body, and for limiting your perception of others to theirs."~ACIM
Ego's Perception
The ego perceives all love as special. Unless a relationship has special value, it has no meaning to the ego.
Unnatural Relationships
Special relationships are unlike the relationship of God and His Son, making them unnatural.
God's Definition of Love
God created love as He would have it be, and gave it as it is. Love has no meaning except as its Creator defined it by His Will.
Love as Freedom
1
True Nature of Love
Love is freedom. Seeking it in bondage separates you from it.
2
Release and Be Released
As you release, so will you be released. This is crucial for love to find and comfort you.
3
Holy Spirit's Aid
The holy instant is the Holy Spirit's most helpful aid in protecting you from the attraction of guilt in special relationships.
The Realization of Self-Abandonment

1

1
Self-Abandonment
Acting out of accordance with oneself creates misery

2

2
Separation and Connection
Separated from self yet never truly left

3

3
The Gap in ACIM
Questioning if this relates to the "gap" mentioned in ACIM

4

4
Layers of Reality
A cellophane layer over continued existence
The SS contemplates whether their subconscious acts as the Holy Spirit, communicating between the layers of reality and perceived separation.
Fear of Joining with Others
Terror of Self-Sacrifice
The SS feels terrified of giving themselves up by joining with their brother.
Fear of No Gap
The belief that there is no gap causes so much fear that the SS immediately wants to run.
Loss of Control
The SS is afraid that relinquishing control means accepting all the bad things they don't want to happen.
Conclusion: The Journey Through Fear and Ego
Spiritual Journey
The author's journey through A Course in Miracles reveals profound challenges in confronting one's ego and fear of losing individuality.
Transformation
The struggle between the ego's desire for special relationships and ACIM's teaching of universal love highlights the difficulty in embracing a more expansive understanding of self and reality.
Ongoing Exploration
As the author grapples with these fears and realizations, the journey continues, inviting further exploration of the gap between illusion and truth, and the possibility of true freedom through love as defined by ACIM.